Taking Advantage of Life’s Possibilities
By Dr. Jim Bailey
Because I’m a former university professor, the beginning of the school year always feels like the start of the year. For me, fall feels full of potential and possibilities for things to begin, grow, and develop. Sometimes the greatest obstacles to turning opportunities into realities are things we carry in ourselves – doubts, reservations, fears, and false-truths that hold us back. How can you take advantage of life’s possibilities?
A lengthy process of therapy, self-help, or re-education might help, but here are some ideas that might offer a quicker path to maximizing your opportunities.
Act on what you know. Many people fret about what might happen, then make contingency plans for every possibility. Instead, take action based on what you do know. Attaining your life goals often requires turning a blind eye or deaf ear to things that could-be-but-may-not occur. We’re all limited in what we can accurately anticipate, so it’s better to act on the clarity we have, trusting that more clarity will come as we work through the process.
Let go of what you don’t love. My wife sometimes has a spring garage sale where she takes the clothes, furniture, knick-knacks, and stuff we held onto but never used and makes them available to people who might actually need and use them. The goal is to unload stuff and simplify. Coming to grips with what you don’t love in-and-about your life is valuable – it forces us to focus. We waste time and energy feeling guilty about things for which we aren’t truly passionate when it’s much healthier to simply give them away or stop doing them, then focus our energy where it counts.
Live like an artist. Everyone needs a creative outlet, though they may need to redefine what it means for them to be creative. Develop and create hobbies, art, and life practices that restore you because you love them – not for a paycheck, being responsible, approved, or promoted. Too many of my near-retirement clients spent so many years doing only what was required, practical, or sensible that they failed to do the things that flesh out their lives and give them meaning. Enlarge your life.
Keep your income and your identity separate in your thinking. Don’t complicate life by putting these two together. Who you are and how you choose to earn a living must not be dependent on each other. If you’re fortunate, they may overlap or merge, but it’s always healthier to understand that your vocation is a place where you apply who you are, rather than the thing that defines who you are.
“Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” – John Wooden. Start creating and offering your gifts, strengths, abilities, and resources as you can. Don’t wait for someone to ask, endorse, or “anoint” you or do it for an audience, a paycheck, a position, or a title. Do what you can.
Don’t wait for things to be “ideal.” Don’t wait on the big transition or life change to start something new. Don’t wait for a job or position offer, endorsements, a raise in pay or greater savings, an inheritance, or “the right people to appear” to begin walking toward your heart’s desires. So many people miss valuable opportunities waiting for “perfect” or “sensible” situations when those things rarely (if ever) happen to most of us.
Recognize growth is essential. We cannot become better people without more knowledge, more experiences, taking risks, failing-then-trying-again, getting mentored or coached. In human development, there are only the choices of growing or dying. The notion of attaining a high level of competence, insight, and wisdom, then forever staying there with no effort, is a myth. A risk-averse life leads only to a small life. You will never fully become who you were meant to be without pressing through adversity towards growth.
It can be enough to simply “try.” Yoda was flat wrong when he said, “Simply do or do not, there is no try.” Sometimes trying wholeheartedly is the most important thing you can do in life. If the things you want meet your moral and ethical standards and they don’t adversely affect how you perform your responsibilities (as spouse, parent, employee, etc.), then go after them. Even if things go differently than you hope, it’s always better to have tried.
There are differences between “waiting on God” and procrastinating, and between moving forward in faith and acting rashly, but we were all created to move forward and make things happen. Understand the differences, choose to live authentically, and take hold of the opportunities you’ve been given.