By Brett Cafferty
A question posed a few weeks ago at a men’s group I meet with asked, “Who did you want to be like when you were a child and why?”
I didn’t have an immediate answer, but what did come to mind were those I’ve learned from and had relationships with in my adult life, which led to me thinking about all the “anchors” along the way. Those who have played a meaningful part in our lives – whether parents, bosses, siblings, friends, co-workers, or someone along the way who invested time and energy to develop and maintain the relationship.
This observation focused on family members who are no longer with us and recalling how much their life and significant role – even when long distance was involved – served as a stabilizing, reliable, and reassuring presence.
In our families, we have lost several “anchors” in the past few years. There are great memories, sadness for loss, and the hurt for those closest, along with the inevitable change in dynamics of how specific family or peer groups interact. They were often the center (“hub”) of the wheel, and the spokes were the actions and responsibilities they took on to plan, communicate, speak up, set the tone, engage others, host at holidays, offer wise counsel when asked, and facilitate keeping a group together.
Since they have often been in this role for as long as we can remember, it can be easy to take them for granted and, perhaps at times, even get annoyed at them for being “them” – until they are no longer there! When the anchor is gone, the ship often drifts. The void is palpable and changes things. It’s obviously the natural cycle of life, but it has been a tough lesson to see played out.
My point is two-fold: A) Recognize and appreciate the anchors in your life and how they have helped keep the world (and perhaps your family or friend group) spinning and B) Don’t underestimate your importance within a family or business group dynamic. You may be someone’s anchor without knowing it, or perhaps it’s a void that needs to be filled and you are it!