As a young man just starting out 25 years ago, Jim Klonaris had a vision of success that was common among recent college graduates of his generation. With a degree from the University of Tennessee in hand, he entered the corporate world, spurred on in part by dangling carrots shaped like nice cars, new boats and large homes.
One quarter-century, a couple of career shifts and three children later, Klonaris—who owns and operates Café 4 on Market Square with his wife, Lori—now refers to those early visions of success as “skewed.”
And that’s not because he never acquired those traditional status symbols; he did—early on. But eventually, he had to come to terms with letting them go, and in the midst of substantial material loss, the choices he made as a parent suddenly seemed more important than ever, and his life’s true legacy was revealed.
“When you lose everything, you realize that’s not where success lies,” says Klonaris, who is also a national public speaker and managing director for Franklin Covey. “Success lies in the journey, and success as a father is seeing your kids grow up having a sense of respect and core values.”
Ironically, some of their greatest moments of parental success came during a low point in the Klonarises’ professional lives. When Jim left the corporate environment of Coca-Cola after a 14-year stint, he and Lori decided to pursue the entrepreneurial dream of restaurant ownership, and they found success in the Knoxville market with their popular Kalamata and Tijuana Taco restaurants. However, the ripple effect from the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks led to what Jim describes as “devastating setbacks” in the family business.
“We started over with zero and learned some of the best lessons in life,” he recalls. “It would have been easy for us to play the blame game. But our children do what we do, and they look to us for direction as to how they will live their lives. They look to us to determine how they will behave, based on our values and ethics.”
Ages 9, 10 and 11 at the time, the Klonaris children felt the impact of the family’s drastic change in lifestyle, but Jim and Lori made a point of using the situation as a teachable moment. The lesson was one in perseverance.
It was a trait that came naturally to both Jim and Lori—he, the grandson of Greek immigrants and she, the first-generation American daughter of Lebanese parents. Both were raised in families with strong work ethics and in which the American dream meant not taking freedom for granted but instead taking responsibility for doing something with one’s life.
“We are given the ability to be responsible for our actions, even when we fail,” Jim says of the mindset handed down to him and Lori from their respective families.
Of course, in most success stories, early failures are often followed by second chances, and today, with Café 4 thriving as one of the crown jewels of the Market Square district, the Klonarises are once again making an impact on the local restaurant market. The takeaway from the experience has not been lost on their son and two daughters, now ages 18, 19 and 20.
“Our kids have the mentality that you never quit,” Jim notes. “Anything you start, you keep plowing until you succeed.”
And there is evidence that two decades’ worth of life lessons have taken root with the next generation.
“All of our children have worked for us as well as for other people,” Jim says. “Two of our kids bought their own cars, and our 20-year-old son just bought his own home. He’s worked with me since he was eight years old, and along the way, I tried to teach him the value of delayed gratification.”
As if to drive that point home even further, Jim points out that he and Lori—who have been married for 22 years—are taking their first vacation alone together in nearly that same span of time.
Interestingly, when it comes to defining fatherhood specifically, Klonaris makes a distinction between being a father and being a dad. He uses the term “father” to describe the man who instills in his children values such respect, honor and forgiveness, while “dad” more often refers to the man who expresses love in the more emotional sense, the one who attends the kids’ sporting events and chaperones the school outings.
“I don’t think I’m good at both,” he shares. “I think I’m more of a father, mainly because of the choices I’ve made in our businesses and because we try to live the work ethic instilled by our parents.”
But it may be Jim’s own father, John, who has helped him see the father-son dynamic from an entirely different perspective. Jim tells the story of taking his father—who recently transitioned into an assisted-living facility to cope with increasing dementia—on a car ride. It was a rare day when John recognized his son, so Jim decided to take advantage of the opportunity to tell his father, now the frail man in the passenger seat, how he had been a good father. And a good dad.
“He put his hand on my hand and said, ‘Thank you,’” Jim recalls with a swell of emotion. “I realized that’s what every dad wants to hear from his children. That’s ultimately what we want as fathers, to look back and understand that the important things were passed down and given back, not just to us but to the community.”
It seems likely that at some point in the next 30 years, Jim Klonaris will be on the receiving end of three similar conversations. In the meantime, he takes comfort in the fact that whatever professional fortunes or misfortunes lie ahead, his children will hopefully have considered him—father, dad—to be a successful man.
